How I feel
by ram-dam-dom
Summary: So this is a OneShot. It basically is about Julian's and Brooke's thoughts and feelings during episode 9.10. Enjoy!


Hey guys... so I watched lasts week epi and I really loved it, so I decided to write a oneshot about the way Brooke and Julian felt during the episode. Hope you like it. Feel free to tell me your opinion about it.

Disclaimer: I dont own the characters 

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><p>Dan had called Julian early in the morning asking him to pass by the soundstage, telling him there was some progress in his research and that he needed his help. So here was Julian standing next to Dan, in front of his car, waiting to hear what was next in their plans. Opening the back of the car, Dan revealed to Julian the man that laid there unconscious. "Wow" Julian said taking a step back. "No, no" he said feeling nauseous at the image of a beaten man in front of him and panicking slightly. "Is that.." he tried to ask Dan but was cut of by the older man that stood next to him with a small smirk "Our friend the drug dealer. At least it used to be." said Dan, who seemed to be entertained by the expression in Julian's face. "No. No, no, no. I didn't see that. I-I don't see that." Julian said jumping back again and closing his eyes, hoping that it was just a nightmare, he would soon wake up from. "You mean him?" Dan, who seemed amused by Julian's childish behavior, asked. "There 's no 'him'" Julian said worryingly, as he once again panicked at the sight of the man. "Sure there is" Dan said coolly. "Well, what's left of him." he said again after taking a look at the drug dealer. Dan was way too relaxed for Julian's liking. This was his soundstage. How could Dan do something like that? Kidnapping and killing a man? What the fuck? "He's right there" Dan pointed out smirking at Julian. This man is so fun, Dan thought. "You cant…" Julian tried to say something, but was once again interrupted by Dan, who seemed to enjoy himself with this whole messy situation. "Ok, he's not" if that what Julian wanted to believe, who was Dan Scott to tell him otherwise.<p>

"You can't kill people in a sound stage… My sound stage!" said the producer trying to make Dan understand how he felt. "You rented it to me" Dan pointed out. Was this guy serious? Yes, he rented Dan his soundstage, but never ever did he think that Dan would use it as a place to kill people. "You said it wasn't illegal" Julian yelled in frustration. "I am not a part of this" Julian said bring his hands to his head, trying to calm himself down. He turned to leave when he heard Dan calling his name. "There's a dead guy, in my soundstage" Julian jumped back and yelled once again, his attempts to calm himself down doing nothing. "Julian, he's not dead." Dan said reassuringly which made Julian look at him relieved. "He's just… Well, I guess he could be dead by now." Dan said taking a better look at the lifeless body. "I can't go to prison, okay?" a scared Julian said as he walked hesitantly towards Dan. Could he go to jail? No, no, no. "You said it yourself. They'll like me there." Remembering what Dan had told him and hating himself for letting Dan work in the soundstage and volunteering to help. "You're not going to prison" Dan said rolling his eyes. This kid was being ridiculous, Dan thought. "I have a family, man" Julian said kind of begging Dan to stop being so carefree, because this wasn't just about him, but it was also about his family. Brooke would so kill him. "Nobody is going to prison. Will you just calm down?" Dan yelled. This wasn't any more amusing to Dan. He had a job to do and Julian was making it really hard for him. He needed to save his son and if it meant to kill a bunch of guys he would do it in a heartbeat.

"Besides, we're the only two people that know about this." the desperate father spoke again feeling a bit guilty for Julian. Julian was a good man, a bit too soft for Dan's liking, but still a good man. "Is that guy dead?" asked Chris Keller, putting his head between the two men shoulders, his eyes widening at the sight which cause Julian to close his eyes in regret for getting himself into such a situation. "Okay, three people know. Four, counting Haley." Dan told Julian. "We're going to jail." Julian said with a sigh. 

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><p>Brooke woke up early today, due to Julian's cell phone ringing. So since she was up that early she decided that she'd go to open up the café herself. Dropping her two boys to daycare she drove to the café. Passing by the café she contemplated parking her car in front of it like she did every time she came to her café, but decided against it, remembering her confrontation with Xavier the previous night. Parking her car in the garage a few blocks away she made her way to the café. Unlocking the door and stepping in the building she came face to face with something she never thought she'd see. The café, hers and Haley's business was trashed. All the stools and tables where either broken or dropped to the floor, pieces of glasses and porcelain where scattered here and there, the pictures from the walls were not on the walls any more. Brooke looked around in an 'aw' as she saw everything she had worked for being destroyed. Walking further in the café she couldn't believe that someone would actually break into it just to trash it. That was until her eyes fell on the coffee shop across the road; now everything made sense. <p>

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><p>"Is he dead yet?" Julian, who didn't dare to go near the car again, whispered at the musician who stood right in front of the unconscious man. Julian was scared that if he spoke louder someone would actually hear him, call the police and make him go to jail. "I don't think so." answer Chris as he studied the drug dealer, not sounding so convincing though. "Check his pulse or something." the jumpy producer directed the obnoxious musician, who touched the man's chest lightly, scared that he'd actually be dead. As the man made a sound, Chris let out a sigh, letting Julian know that he was still alive. "Boy, I'd sure hate to own this place." Chris said suddenly looking around at the soundstage. "Why? What's that supposed to mean?" the young father asked feeling offended by the new owner of the record labor. "Well, kidnapping, aggravated assault." He explained further, as he looked at Julian whose eyes were wide as the realization that this was really wrong hit him once again. "Relax." Dan told Julian as he walked by. Then he turned to Keller pointing a finger at him "You shut up." He told him not really wanting to hear another rant of Julian why he shouldn't end up in jail. Seriously this guy had freak outs every minute.<p>

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Dan asked curiously as to why Chris would bother to go to the soundstage. "Well, I came to help, but Chris Keller's too pretty to go to prison." The musician explained as he relaxed his back on the car. "Yeah, that's what I said." Julian agreed as he stood next to Chris. "You said Chris Keller was pretty?" Chris asked, earning an incredulous look from the now calmer producer. Julian was starting to understand all the warnings about Chris's ego and brain. "Nobody's going to prison." Dan said once again his voice getting a bit louder than normal. "How'd you know to find us here?" he asked needing to make sure that people didn't know about his plan, since it would cost him a lot if there was a word about what he was doing; even his son's life. "Haley…I followed her last night." explained Chris knowing that Dan wasn't just playing around. But being Chris Keller he couldn't help what he said next "By the way, she was looking super fine." He said losing himself in his little fantasy of Haley. Julian could feel the migraine forming on his head. Was Chris serious? They were holding a dead guy, Dan was getting his guns ready and Chris was fantasizing about Haley? "Why?" Dan demanded to know, not stopping what he was doing, not even looking at the two men who stood just a few feet away from him. "I don't know. She had on this little miniskirt and these boots." the Keller brought back the image of Haley, smirking at the dirty thoughts he made about her. "Why did you follow her?" Dan asked losing his patience with the young musician. "Oh." Chris realized that Dan wasn't interested about what Haley wore the previous day. " I was worried about her and about Nate. So I saw you guys drag the dead body in here." he told Dan truthfully. "He's not dead. Don't say 'dead.'" Julian interrupted having a mini freak out once again. He couldn't bare the thought of being in the same place with a dead man. Rolling his eyes at Julian's childish antics, Chris continued "I followed her home, and I watched her cry in her car." Julian was looking around trying to figure out what he should do. Not really paying attention t what Chris and Dan were saying. "I assume this guy knows where Nate is. Did he tell you?" asked the musician, feeling the need to know more about the case. "He told me."  
>"And you're gonna bring him home?"<br>"That's right."  
>"Then I want to help."<br>"Good."

There was a moment of silence in the room. Dan was busy putting the bag with the guns in the backseats, Chris just stood there trying to comprehend what he just got himself into and Julian, well, he was trying to just breathe. "Damn! Chris Keller was kind of hoping you'd say no, like when you offer to pick up a check. I was just being courteous." Now it was time for Chris Keller to have his little freak out. But even in his freak out he was still the obnoxious musician who talked about himself in third person, something that frustrated Julian even more. This was crazy. Dan was too relaxed about the whole thing and Chris was…Chris. Trouble. He was in trouble. "You guys understand what we're doing here, right, with the dead body in the trunk and the weapons in the bag? You realize this is real, yes?" Julian tried to make both Dan and Chris see the seriousness of the situation. One mistake, one false move and someone could end up dead. And he sure didn't want to die. "Well, I think we should go to the cops." He tried to reason with Dan. Yeah, the cops. Justice was their job. Guns, drug dealers, killers, that was what cops dealt with. "No" Dan said blankly surprising Julian. "Why not?" the producer asked, letting a sigh. "Cause I don't trust them." Dan said sincerely. "Why?" Julian asked. Why would someone not trust the police? They were trained for these kind of things. They would probably know what to do; how to handle things.

"I went there last night…The warehouse underneath the interstate. I studied the guards, their shift patterns, entrances, exits. A patrol car came and left." Dan explained to Julian, trying to convince him that going to the cops was not an option. Ok, now things couldn't get messier. Were the cops involved in illegal things? What was wrong with this planet? Julian looked at Chris who seemed as surprised and concerned as he was. "You think the cops are involved?" Julian asked fearing that this situation was really getting out of control. "I don't know. All I know is, Nathan's in there and he's alive." Dan said looking between the two younger man, who stood dump folded in front of him. "Are you sure…That he's alive, I mean?" Chris asked. Was he alive? Julian had asked himself many times this question. Was Nathan Scott alive? Was Haley right, believing that her husband wasn't lying somewhere dead? Julian didn't know, but was Chris serious? You don't ask the father of the missing man if his son is still alive, especially when he has a gun in his hand. Julian looked at Dan waiting for an answer. "First, why would they guard the place if he wasn't?" Dan reasoned walking towards Julian and Chris, two guns in his hands. "Second, he's my son. He's alive." Julian could hear the desperation in Dan's voice. He could relate to Dan. Not too long ago he was sitting in a hospital, waiting for someone to tell him if his son was alive. That day he felt desperate to know that his boy was ok, he was scared, his heart was beating really fast and he was having trouble breathing. Pain, agony and helplessness. That's what he was feeling while he didn't know what was going on with his son. And if Dan felt half the way he felt that day, he knew that it was killing him. "Look, you're right. This is real. It's not gonna be pretty. These guys are professionals. There's a half dozen or so." Dan told them, wanting them to understand that he knew that his plan was crazy.

"They're holding Nathan… My son, your friend, Haley's husband." Dan's voice softened as he mentioned Nathan. "I'm going back there tonight, and I'm not leaving without him." The ex-convict said fearless, like every father wanting to protect their son would do. "I need some help." He was practically begging the two men for help. "I'll help you." Julian said really calm now. Dan was right. If there was one thing Dan could do to save Nathan he had to do this; because sitting home and waiting wasn't an option for a father who was missing his son. "It's Nathan." Julian practically whispered. It was Nathan. A good man, a loving husband, an amazing father. He didn't deserve to die. Haley didn't deserve to live in such an agony. His two children didn't deserve to grow up without their father. And those bastards that took him away from his family didn't deserve to live. Julian was a father; his child shouldn't grow up in such a messed up world and if he could help make this world just a bit better he would do it, even if it was the last thing he did. Julian was once against lost in his thoughts. "What about you, peacock?" Dan asked sending an appreciating glance towards Julian. "C-Chris Keller needs a little more time!" said the musician hesitantly. "We don't have time." "Okay, fine, I'll help, but Chris Keller wants to go on record as saying Chris Keller doesn't like this." Dan smirked and hand each man a gun. Now Julian officially thought that he had lost his mind. He didn't even know how to hold a gun, let alone shoot. "You guys ever shoot? Ever handled a weapon, fire a gun, a rifle, anything?" Julian shook his head 'no'. "Dan Scott doesn't like this, either." Julian heard Dan mumble.

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><p>Brooke had called all the employees of the café telling them that they weren't needed for the day. She was trying to get the café look presentable again, pulling up the chairs and the tables, collecting the broken glasses from the floor. She was picking up some porcelain pieces from the counter when she heard the door of the café open and a really annoying voice asking her what happened. A voice she knew all too well. Tara was standing there and Brooke could feel her smiling satisfacted at the wrenched café. Brooke really didn't want to talk to the blond owner of the rival café, her anger growing with every passing moment. The brunette grabbed a piece of glass that used to be a vase and threw it towards Tara who held her head between her hands to protect herself. Brooke missed the blonds head for just a few inches. The blond snapped her head up as soon as she heard the glass shatter next to her, an expression of surprise in her face. Now that felt good, Brooke thought to herself. "Oh, my God, you crazy bitch!" Tara said in disbelief. "Turn around and walk the hell out of here before I beat your scrawny ass with my bare damn hands." Brooke said through her clenched teeth. What was this fake blond slut thinking? That she could come in the café whenever she wanted, even after what happened? Brooke was really mad right now and Tara should know better than to push her buttons even more. "What the hell are you mad at me for?" the blonde asked not understanding why Brooke was being so offensive. Brooke shook her head at the blonde bimbo in front of her, the blood rising in her head. "Don't play even dumber with me." The brunette warned not being in the mood to play games in that moment. Brooke didn't care in the wrenched café was Tara's plan or Xavier's. It didn't really matter to her. What mattered was that to them it was a game, a game Brooke wasn't willing to play; not anymore. "Oh, what, you think I did this?" Tara asked calmer. Brooke put her hands on her hips and shrugged. Did this stupid bitch really need an answer to that question or was she just trying to piss her even more off.<p>

"Okay, fine. Call the cops. My employees tell me you're the slut that cried wolf these days anyway, Brooke. So make the call… really, I cannot wait to hear your proof." the blonde challenged Brooke, which caused Brooke to roll her eyes. She knew that that was the way Tara was seeing this; as a challenge. But Brooke wasn't stupid; she knew it and she wouldn't fall for it, not anymore. She had played this game lately, but this time it had gone too far. Brooke wasn't willing to give Tara the satisfaction of going back and forth in a pointless war again. "I know what I know, and either you did this or that psychotic employee you hired did." Brooke said with her jaw clenched. She saw Tara's eyes widen at the mention of Xavier as if she was contemplating if this could be him, but she recovered immediately. "Either way, you are to blame, so get the hell out!" Brooke yelled at the blonde. She didn't want her any longer in her store, because Brooke was too frantic to control herself right now. "You are crazy." Tara mumbled as she turned to leave but stopped when Brooke spoke again. "If you didn't do this, now you know what you're dealing with." Brooke said somehow trying to warn the blonde once again about the psychotic employee she had. "And if you did, I always knew what I was dealing with." Brooke said shrugging her shoulders as she raising her hands up, to show Tara that she was done. Brooke knew that she was right. She just hoped that Tara would see that too and she would stop whatever she was planning. "Whatever" Tara said giving Brooke a fake smile and walking out of the café. Brooke turned around and as soon as the blonde was gone she knocked a couple of stools to the floor with her hand. She was tired of this life.

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><p>After convincing Julian and Chris to help him with his plan, Dan had insisted that they drove to the woods to have a little practice at shooting. Five beer bottles were sitting in front of Julian and Chris as they shot trying to aim them, but never succeeding. "Ooohhh…I'm getting closer! I should get bonus points for that, right?" Chris asked as he shot an old wooden chair that was a coupled feet away from the bottles, their aim. Chris seemed to really enjoy it. "Sure. Maybe one of the bad guys should just lie down because you almost shot him." Dan said sarcastically. This kid was actually getting to Dan's nerves with his perkiness. "Yeah, Chris Keller was thinking he'd be more of a lookout, like kind of hang back and offer moral support from afar." Julian shook his head at Chris. Chris was seeing this as a game, but Julian didn't. He was there because he had a goal; save Nathan. So he preferred to ignore the self concerned musician and look at the bottles in front of him, trying to concentrate. "What about you, Julian? You just want to hang back and offer moral support, too?" Dan tried to tease the producer who hadn't had a freak out for quite a long time. "No" answered Julian before he aimed at a bottle with his gun and shot, almost hitting his target. An almost empty look in his eyes. "Geez!" Chris jumped back at the sound of the gunshot. "You sure you thought this thing through, Keller?" Dan asked Chris with a raised eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?" Chris asked feeling offended. "You say you want to help Haley. You have a thing for her. You have since high school. So from where I stand, this is a loselose for you. If you don't bring Nathan back, you failed her. If you do, you lose her anyway. Once Nathan comes home, you're out of the picture." Julian kept looking at the bottles, his brows creased. However, he could hear Dan talking to Chris about how the musician wouldn't win anything from this plan. Julian knew that Dan was trying to make sure that Chris was doing this for the right reasons, because once they went to that warehouse there was no way out. Dan was also trying to piss Chris off so that he would actually try to be serious about this whole situation. "So are you. Yeah. Haley told me all about it. Once Nathan comes back, you lose your family. So, from where I'm standing, it's worse for you, because I lose what I never had, but you had it… Your son, your grandkids, all of it. But here we are." Chris told Dan. Julian knew right away that Dan had achieved what he wanted. He had pissed Chris of and he had given him a reason to want to do his part right. Good job Dan.

"What about you, Baker? What's your role in all this?" Dan asked the young father who hadn't moved an inch during the whole talk. Julian knew that Dan would want to do the same with Julian. "Nathan's my friend." He answered, knowing that Dan would ask him further, but hoping that the older man would just drop it. Julian was doing this for the right reasons. "Not really. I'd say he's more of an acquaintance. Nobody's gonna lay down their life for an acquaintance." Julian looked down at his feet. Dan was right he wasn't doing this only for Nathan. Yeah, Nathan was his friend. Julian considered him even a part of his family. But him being here wasn't all about his friendship with Nathan. "This still about you leaving your kids in the car?" Dan said knowing that he'd hit a soft spot with it. Yeah he had hit a soft spot, but not because Julian was still feeling guilty for being careless around his kids, but just because he had kids; kids he needed to protect. "I need to believe that there's still justice, that even now in a world full of gray and spin and compromise, if you choose to do wrong and you prey on good people when you do, someone will stand up to you. Someone will take a stand and fight back." The producer said staring at his feet the whole time. Julian could feel the pressure built up in his eyes. He could see Brooke's scared face in front of him when she saw Xavier in the café. He could hear in his head her screams during one of her nightmares. He could remember the look Brooke had on her face when she walked in on Julian and the boys playing; a look of the need to feel safe. He could feel the fear creep inside his heart about what could happen to Brooke or the babies while he wasn't there. He had promised to Brooke that he wouldn't let anything to happen to her and their children and he needed to make sure that he'd keep his promise. He needed to help Nathan so that he could allow himself to feel even a bit safer. He hoped that this was a good enough reason for Dan to let him help Nathan. "Nathan's a good man." Julian continued his little talk as he loaded his gun. "He deserves a good life." He said as he shot and hit a bottle, a look of determination in his eyes. "Keep practicing." Dan said after shooting with his shotgun. "And then what?" Julian asked, needing to know more about Dan's plan. "We wait until dark. Then we fight back." That was all Julian needed for now.

The day had gone by pretty quickly, while Julian and Chris improved their shooting skills. Then the dark had come over Tree Hill, which meant one thing; it was time to go to the warehouse. Dan drove them their and once the car was close enough to the warehouse, but far enough for them to not be seen he killed the ignition. "That moron goes inside to eat around this time every night, then another guard takes his place." Dan told them what he had observed while he had been watching the guards. "That gives you about 30 seconds to cut the lock on the gate and get back to the car." He explained further. "I got this." Julian said being really calm. He watched that guy for a few seconds before his hand found the door handle. "Okay, that's good. If you got this, then I don't have to." Chris said relieved making both Julian and Dan look at him quizzically. "What, you guys don't watch movies? The hero always dies in the movies." Chris said thinking his reasons were so obvious. Upon hearing that, the two men rolled their eyes, feeling stupid for even acknowledging Chris. "30 seconds… go." Dan told Julian as he took a look to his watch. Julian opened the car door and run, cautiously not to make any noise, towards the gate; he cut the lock and run back to the car. He had made it, he thought letting a breath he didn't even know he was holding as he reached the car. But as he tried to open the door, he realized that it was locked. "Let me in." Julian said in a low voice not really realizing that the doors were locked on purpose. Upon seeing Chris was ready to unlock the doors Dan said to him "Don't let him in."  
>"Guys, come on, the door's locked." Julian said panicking slightly. What were those two doing? It wasn't time for games. The other guard would come out any minute now and Julian couldn't risk to get caught because of this. "Keller, open the door!" Julian said his frustration growing. "Julian…" Julian looked at Dan waitingly. "…you have a family. Go home." <p>

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><p>All day Brooke had been cleaning up the café. She had done a hell of a job; everything looked just like before. And now she was working on the last things she hadn't put on their places, wanting to finish with the cleaning and go back to her house. As she took the small hand towel in her hands to protect herself from being cut, she picked some porcelain pieces to through them away from the counter. As the pieces landed in the rubbish bin, she saw a small 'X' carved on the counter. Immediately she felt disgusted by Xavier. Putting her delicate fingers on the carving, she traced the letter. That's when she decided that she wouldn't let him feel scared. She wouldn't let her fear dictate her life. She was done being scared, she was done letting him intimidate her, she was done with him. She wouldn't let him take another moment from her life again. He had already gotten too much away from her. He had turned her into a scared woman, she was suspicious of everyone, she was afraid to stay alone at night, she was scared to let her kids alone just in case he would hurt them. But she was done being that person, the vulnerable girl she once was gone now. If he wanted to destroy her life he'd had to do more things than wrench the café and sneak up on her at night. And if he tried anything she would fight him back. This was her life and she wouldn't allow him to turn it into a nightmare again. Pulling out her cell phone she dialed the all too familiar number. She had to tell him. <p>

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><p>Watching the car, he was supposed to be in, taking off Julian froze. What the hell was wrong with people? Seeing a big guy come out to start his shift at guarding the warehouse, the producer run to hide behind some bushes, trying to not make any noise that would drawn any attention. Taking a look at the guy again, he saw all the guns he had on him. God, what had he gotten himself into? He had a family for god's sake. Was Dan right? Should he leave and return to his wife and kids? Maybe he should. Hearing his phone ring made Julian jump. What the hell did he think not turning it off? Was he trying to get killed? I mean who goes at a place full of professional killers on an undercover mission and has his cell on? Looking around to make sure that he hasn't drawn any attention, he lowered himself so that he wasn't visible, but being still able to watch the scene. Looking at the ID of the caller he sees "Brooke" on the screen of his cell, which makes him feel slightly guilty. What was he thinking? Dan was right; he has a family; a beautiful wife and two incredible boys waiting for him at home. How could he be so irresponsible and come to this place? If Dan hadn't locked him out of the car he would have gone into this building, holding a gun and shooting people. He could either get killed or end up in jail. He had to go home as soon as possible; home to Brooke, to Jude and Davis. God, Brooke would be so mad if she ever found out where he was.<p>

Feeling suddenly the need to hear the voice of the woman that made his heart race like crazy, he glanced around him to make sure no one was around and answered the phone. "Baby, I cant talk right now" he said as soon as he put the phone to his ear, realizing it was not the time to be all lovely with Brooke. "I am not gonna let him intimidate me" Brooke said not really listening to her husband, being in her own little world. "Who?" asked a confused Julian, not really understanding what Brooke was talking about, his mind being in the building just a few meters next to him. "Xavier" the brunette answered in a 'duh' tone, as if Julian was supposed to know what she was talking about. "I am not afraid of him" she said calmly, having come to terms with the fact that this man wanted to make her live a life in fear. Upon hearing this name, something snapped into Julian, his attention being now fully on Brooke. "Why, what's going on?" he asked, waiting nervously for her answer hoping that his wife was safe, knowing that if anything happened to her he couldn't help her right now.

"Why are you whispering? Where are you?" asked Brooke, only now realizing that Julian was whispering, feeling slightly confused as to why he wasn't talking normally. "I 'm…" Julian looked around contemplating if he should tell his wife where he really was, but deciding against it, not wanting to upset her. "…in a movie" he finally said, knowing that she wouldn't question it. "Where are you?" he asked the fear that she isn't safe creeping inside him. "I 'm at the café" the ex-fashionista answered with a small sigh, her gaze falling on the curved 'X' on the counter. She started walking round the counter never taking her eyes off of it. "Is everything ok?" the film producer asked, needing to know that the love of his life was safe. "Yeah, everything 's fine" said the brunette. She wanted to tell him about the café being trashed by Xavier, but she didn't. She didn't want Julian to worry about her, but mostly she wanted to be strong and brave, because she wasn't scared of him; she couldn't be anymore. "Go back to your movie" she said slowly, sighing again, knowing that she would tell him if this conversation kept going.

But Julian knew Brooke better than anyone else did. He could hear the uncertainty in her voice. "Are you sure everything is fine?" he asked again needing her to tell him the truth. "Yeah. Xavier wants to mess with me, he's gonna have a hell of a fight in his hands." Brooke said stubbornly to her husband. "Absolutely not, Brooke." Julian said making Brooke kick herself mentally for telling him that. "If something's going on, you need to call the police or lock up and go home or both." he continued frowning slightly at the thought of Brooke putting herself in danger because of her stubbornness. He knew that Brooke was tired of living under the fear that this man would once again hurt her, or even worse hurt someone she cared about. He remembered the day she confronted him in his house. He remembered the look in her eyes as she held the gun between his eyes; a look full of indignation, passion and determination. It was the same things that he heard in her voice now. "I know" Brooke said, knowing that Julian was right but feeling defeated after all. "Promise me" he kind of demanded. But she didn't answer, which drove him crazy. Would Brooke, really, do anything stupid? He would die if anything happened to her. The picture of a broken Brooke after her attack crossed his mind. An image that haunted him since the day he found those pictures of a bruised and buttered Brooke. Cursing himself for going through her stuff, he stood up to check again if someone was near him. "Baby, promise me you'll do that." He said more forcefully this time kicking himself for not being with her to protect her. Another image of Brooke flashed through his mind. It was Brooke lying in front of him in the rain, not breathing, after he had pulled her out off the river. Everything he felt that few seconds he watched her lying there lifeless, all the heartache, every single thought that crossed his mind in just a few seconds that night returned in his mind and heart. He couldn't lose her.

"I'm just so tired of it. You know; injustice." the brunette said knowing that Julian had won this conversation. He was right, she couldn't risk it, she was a mother now. But she couldn't help feeling frustrated. He had destroyed her life. He had haunted her dreams for many long nights. He had turned her in an insecure and vulnerable woman. She hated being that woman. Upon hearing Brooke's words, something snapped in his heart. He could hear how tired Brooke was. He had known that she was putting a brave face for him. Had she admitted that she was scared? Yes. Had she told him all her concerns? Yes. But through all of this, Brooke seemed willing to get over it. However now, as they talked, he could feel that she was reaching her breaking point. "Trust me, I know, ok? I do" and he really understood her. He felt the same. Ever since Brooke told him that this man was out of jail, he felt that way. And working with Dan, he saw a world he never had seen before; a world of corruption, violence and unfairness. Brooke was a good woman, a loving mother. She didn't deserve this. Nathan was a good man, a loving father. He didn't deserve this. Someone had to stand up to this. That's when he made a decision. He knew that Brooke needed him right now, but he had to do this. He had to go inside that building and get Nathan. He had to believe that at the end of the day, everyone would get what he deserved. That's the reason he had come here in the first place.

"But I love you and I need you safe." Was he saying goodbye? No. He wouldn't die in that warehouse. He would get in there, help Dan get Nathan and go back to his wife. "And our boys need you safe." Just in case anything happened to him, she needed to be ok to take care of the boys. "Okay?" he asked her to make sure that she would listen to him. "Yeah" she answered deciding that was what she had to do. "Okay, go home. I 'll see you there" he told her, more to reassure himself. "Ok, I love you." Brooke said hating the way she felt right now. Once again she felt powerless against Xavier, even if he wasn't even near her. "I love you too" he told her, closing his eyes momentarily to prevent his tears from escaping his eyes. This wasn't goodbye, he kept reminding himself. This wasn't goodbye. 

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><p>After ending her call with Julian, Brooke started asking herself what she had to do. She knew that Julian was right. She shouldn't act on impulse and do anything that she'd regret later, because she had to think of her kids first. If anything happened to her, her boys would grow up without a mother. She couldn't let that happen. Then there was Julian. He would die if he lost her. After her almost drowning he made her promise him that she would never leave him, because he didn't want to live without her. Julian was really worried about her, about this situation with Xavier and she could hear his concern during their call. But she couldn't live her life in fear anymore. Looking at the door she had a flashback to the night he attacked her. The café was back then her boutique. It was late at night and she had decided that Millie could go and that she'd close up. She had switched of the lights and she was almost out of the store when the door opened with such force she jumped back. Without knowing what was happening she felt to hands grabbing her shoulders and bushing her backwards. Losing her balance she took a few steps backwards, her legs hitting on something that made her fall to her back. Moments later someone was on top off her, punching, slapping and kicking her. She couldn't see his face; he was wearing a mask. All she could see was his eyes. Dark brown eyes, almost black staring back at her in anger. After all those years she still could remember the look in his eyes, she could still feel the pain that run through her body as he punched her. She could remember all those things that crossed her mind as she lied on the cold floor of her store bleeding, all the things she felt as she lied there motionless hoping to die. She would allow him to make her feel this way again. Looking at his initial that he had carved on the counter she took a deep breath, trying to block these memories out of her head. No, she wasn't scared of him. Just then the lights go out.<p>

Reaching for her cell once again, Brooke used the lighter application so that she could figure out how to switch the lights on again. She could feel that this wasn't just a coincidence. It was probably one of Xavier's tries to scare her. But he couldn't; not this way. She looked around to check that she was alone, and started making her way towards the back of the café where the power-box was. She tried every circuit breaker in the box, but nothing happened. He was trying to play tricks with her mind. He wanted to get to her but she wouldn't let him. Brooke was too busy with the box to notice that Xavier stood right outside the café window staring at her. However, as she busied herself she could feel someone watching her. Turning her head towards the street she saw nothing, letting a breath she was holding.

Knowing that it was time for her to go home, Brooke stepped out of the café and locked it, looking around her just in case this psychotic man was somewhere around waiting for her. Since she couldn't see anyone she started walking towards the garage. There was a light breeze outside and Brooke could feel herself shudder slightly. But it wasn't because of the breeze; it was because of this feeling in the pit of her stomach that she wasn't alone after all. She could feel a pair of eyes burning holes in her back. She tried to stay composed and not show any emotion. It was simple, keep her cool, never stop walking and reach the car. He wouldn't get to her nerves. She just had to remind herself that.

Walking in the garage Brooke found herself cursing for not parking her car in front of the café like she always did. But after her confrontation with Xavier the other night she kind of felt safer parking it in the garage. However, as soon as she heard a baby song, her boys' song, she felt a goose bump run through her body, suddenly being crept out. Was it a coincidence or was it one of Xavier's games? Was it even a game to him to make her scared of him or would he actually hurt her again? Was it a mistake that she hadn't told Julian about the trashed café? Or the little "talk" she had with the scam bug the other night? As she walked further into the garage she started losing the confidence she had when she said earlier that she wasn't scared of him, but she had promised herself she wouldn't let him get to her. Reaching the elevator she checked the exit door that was next to it to make sure that no one was there, pushing the button for the elevator. Waiting it to reach her floor, she tapped her foot impatiently wanting nothing more than to get into her car, drive safely home, to her children and husband and sleep in his strong and safe arms.

As the elevator doors opened, Brooke felt relief wash over her body. Maybe it was her mind playing games to her after all. Stepping in it she pressed the button for the third floor with a bit more force than needed, hoping that it would go up faster that way. All she wanted was to go home as soon as possible, take a shower to relieve the tension of a day full of cleaning up and overwhelming emissions and cuddle with Julian. Hearing the 'ding' signaling that she had reached the third floor brought a small smile to her lips. She was almost there. In about fifteen minutes she would be to her house ready to relax. But as the elevator door opened and a grinning Xavier appeared singing the song that was still heard, Brooke's smile disappeared, a scowl taking its place. Why wouldn't he let her alone? Feeling angry and tired that he would just appear in front of her, never letting her being carefree she looked him deep in the eyes and told him bravely "I'm not afraid of you". Was she? Was she really not afraid of him? The truth was she really was scared, the realization that she was trapped in a garage with him only now hitting her. But she wouldn't let him know. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction of seeing her fear. "You should be" the man said his eyes glistening mischievously, a smirk forming on his lips. Panic came over Brooke. She had never seen his eyes staring at her in such a disturbing way; not when he first attacked her, not when she confronted him in his house and definitely not last night. That's when she knew. He wasn't playing games anymore. He wanted to harm her and she had to get away from him. Why was she so stupid and stubborn and didn't tell Julian about what he did to the store? Why did she have to be so proud and not ask her husband to come pick her up from the café?

Taking a few steps towards Brooke, Xavier took out of his pocket a knife. Brooke looked at the knife in his hands and then back at his eyes. She tried to read him, tried to see what he wanted, what he was gonna do. His eyes were wide in ecstasy, but still held some hatred in them. "Help" she screamed as loud as she could, knowing that she wouldn't be able to fight him back. His need for revenge was making him stronger than his already was. However when she felt him pressing the knife in her throat her, she immediately stopped screaming. "Do that again and I 'll slit your throat before you finish." he warned her as his face came closer to hers, his eyes challenging her to move. "What do you want from me?" Brooke asked not blinking her eyes. Even now, as she felt a little blood roll down her neck from where the knife was pressed against, she decided that she would remain as calm as possible. All she had to do was gain some time by talking to him, until she could find the right time to run away. "What do I want? I want my freedom back" he said, his voice low. Brooke had to stop herself from yelling at him. He was free. He was out of jail, he had a job now so why the hell was he doing this to her. "You have that" Brooke said in a tone that matched his. Before Brooke could realize what was happening Xavier had grabbed her by the shoulders and had thrown her out of the elevator.

As soon as Brooke landed on the concrete she stated crawling backwards, even though she felt the pain on the fall on her back, trying to get away from this man. However before she had the chance to do anything else he was on top of her and the knife was once again pressed against her throat. "Okay" Brooke said raising her hands to her chest to show him that she wouldn't try anything. Maybe he just needed to tell her everything he felt towards her and he would leave her alone. Did she really believe that? She had to, to prevent herself from crying. "I want every day I spent in prison back" he said emphasizing each word. Brooke knew that he wanted revenge. He wanted to see her in pain, to hear her scream, to destroy her life. "Xavier please…" she begged. She knew that by begging she was doing exactly what she had promised herself that she wouldn't do. She was giving him the satisfaction he wanted. But if that was the only way for her to survive this, then she didn't care. But she was surprised to see a wave of hurt in his eyes.

But that was only for a moment before it was replaced with anger. "Don't say my name" he screamed at her, which caused her to turn her face to her left trying desperately to suppress a sob. "Don't say my name with that slutty whore's mouth" he told her. Brooke could hear a new emotion in his voice, but she couldn't put her fingers on it. A few tears rolled down her cheeks. "I've got other plans for that mouth." The ex-convict said a dreamy smirk forming on his lips as caressed her lips with his finger. Brooke felt nauseous. Was he really planning to rape her? No, that couldn't happen. He couldn't take her dignity from her. He wanted to make her feel worthless but she wouldn't let him. But right now, with him on top of her and a knife a few inches from her neck she didn't know if she would be able to stop him. She just wished that the situation would change. "Until then, you just shut up and listen, 'cause I've got a few things I want to say to you." Brooke squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to compose herself, before she broke down. "Okay." she whispered looking at Xavier, waiting for him to continue.

"Yeah, you act all high and mighty, but you close your eyes at night and you pray for a real man." he said smiling at her. Brooke wanted to scream at him that he was crazy, that she had a real man that she loved and the he was not a real man, he wasn't even a man. He was just another scam bug that deserved to burn in hell. But she decided against it. She knew that she shouldn't really talk. Xavier left the knife next to Brooke. He caressed her cheek and then started smelling her. Brooke could feel his hot breath on her skin, not liking how close he was to her. Brooke stared and the knife next to her, trying to think of a way to get away from this delusional man. She looked back at him and she could see him taking in her perfume and fantasizing about her. That's when she realized that the emotion in his voice was lust. He wanted her. He wanted her in a way that made her sick. Brooke was the only one that ever fought him back and by having her in a way only a man could have her, would made him feel strong; it would make him have power over her. She needed to get away from him, because if she didn't, she'd wish to die. "Well…" he got closer to her if that was even possible cupping her cheeks with his hand. "Your prayers are answered, baby." he told Brooke his voice softening. It was now or never, Brooke thought. She had to fight back, because if she didn't she would regret it forever. Putting her thumbs in his eyes, she pushed them as hard as she could, making the man on top of her scream in pain. He jumped slightly back and Brooke managed to kick him of off her. Without second thought she jumped up and started running. Her legs were trembling, her knees felt like jello, but she didn't stop running. "You're gonna pay for that!" she heard him scream, but she didn't glance back at him. She was running for her life.

Brooke realized that she had no chance to get out of the garage. The only exit was the one behind Xavier. So she did the first thing that came to her mind. She hid under a car. She had seen it in almost every horror movie, but never did she thought that it be her to do it. As she looked around to spot Xavier, she tried to steady her breath. She could feel her whole body tremble and she knew that there was no use to try to calm down. Hearing his footsteps the brunette woman held her breath; hoping that she wouldn't end up like every girl in the movies; dead. As he came closer she could fell the concrete quiver under his heavy steps. Brooke let out a sigh of relief as he walked by her. She looked around trying to find a way out, to worry and fear evident in her eyes. Looking around to try to figure out if Xavier was anywhere near or if she would be able to make a run for the stairs she decided that it was time to get out of her hideout. As she was ready to roll out from under the car she heard him. "Bhoo" he said as he was lying on his chest a few cars next to her, amusement all over his face. Getting up, Brooke started running towards the exit door asking for help. She was almost there when she felt Xavier tackling her down. Both of them fell down the concrete stairs. Brooke heard her bones crack as she landed on her right side. She tried to get up, but fell down right away, the pain on her head and her arm to strong to even move. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to concentrate, but had no luck. She felt the moisture under her head and she knew that it was bleeding. She was drifting out of consciousness but tried as hard as she could to stay awake. She could just give up.

She felt tired, the room was spinning and her arm was killing her. She felt weak, her eyes being too heavy to hold them open. She was about to give up when she felt his hands on her hair, feeling awake suddenly. He slammed her on the wall, a malicious smile on his face. "Why?" she asked in a low voice. "Why?" she asked again through greeted teeth, her voice much stronger this time. Tears were purring down her eyes freely now. "Why? There is no why." he told her, pushing her hard against the wall. His eyes started at her in ecstasy. He was really enjoying the time he spent with her. "There is only what I want. No reason. No justice." He continued as he pushed his large body against Brooke's small one, his face getting really close to Brooke's. Once again Brooke felt his breath on her skin, causing her to stir slightly, but he pressed her even harder on the wall. "No…Divine intervention. There's only you, me, and that wild, so-betrayed look in your eyes." He spoke once again grabbing her face with his hand and forcing her to look at him. He needed to see her eyes. He needed to see the pain, the fear, the hope. But Brooke wouldn't allow him to see it. So she closed her eyes refusing to open them. "That look… that's why. That same look…That friend of yours had right before I killed him…in the gas station." He told her once she opened her eyes and looked at his. Once he finished talking his hands traveled to the end of her shirt trying to take it off of her, the brunette's screams not fazing him. Brooke fought him back with all the strength left in him. She had promised herself to fight him and she would. Suddenly Xavier stopped trying and started laughing evilly. Then his hands travelled under her shirt, making Brooke move violently, trying to shake him of her. Smirking again he pulled his hands out from under her shirt and rested them on her hips.

"It's that moment that you know and accept… That this is it. This is really happening." He was trying to make a point to Brooke. He was trying to make her see that there was no use for her to fight him off, because he was determined to make her feel pain. He lived by seeing people suffer. It was his addiction and no one could stop him. "And no one's gonna save you" Brooke stopped moving. She was giving up this time. She was doing what he had just said; accepting it. She couldn't get away from him. Brooke's eyes turned empty suddenly, the tears not stopping. Brooke thought to all the things she regretted. She regretted not making love with her husband last night because she was too tired, she regretted not kissing her kids' goodbye this morning because she was in a hurry, she regretted not going by Haley to comfort her because she was dealing with her own problems, she regretted not calling Peyton more often because she felt betrayed by her friend for leaving; and the list never stopped. She was accepting that today would be her last day alive.

But then something unexpected happened. Brooke saw Xavier's body fling backwards, shaking as if being electrocuted. Then he fall down on the floor, revealing a shocked Tara. Brooke never felt happier to see a person in her whole life. "Oh my God…that guy is creepy" Brooke heard the blonde say. The brunette closed her eyes momentarily allowing herself to breathe again. More tears left her eyes, as she felt her heartbeat slowing down. "Are you ok?" Tara asked the brunette really worried about her. Was she ok? Of course not. Would she be? She hopped so. Brooke couldn't open her mouth to form a word, so she shook her head 'no', while extending her shaking hand asking Tara for the electro shocking thing. Tara eyed her, not sure if she should give it to the broken woman that barely stood, but one look in her pleading eyes and she gave it to Brooke. Brooke took small, unsteady steps towards Xavier's body, lowering herself. Taking a look at his face she touched his chest with the thing that saved her life. "No one's gonna save you" she said slowly, giving him another electro shock. She could kill him. She could electrocute him till death and get away with it. But she didn't want to, because that was that would be better for him. She wanted to see him die behind the bars. She wanted him to live the rest of his life in jail, feeling weak. She wanted him to suffer, the way she suffered every day for the past couple of years. So she stopped. Taking a last glance at him, she collapsed next to him feeling to dizzy and exhausted both physically and emotionally. This was it, Brooke thought. 

* * *

><p>Julian had waited outside the warehouse. He watched Dan drugging the drug dealer inside the building, he watched as Chris Keller killed the guard on the front and then took off running. He watched as a guy run out only to see his partner lying dead between the wall and the car and then run back inside again. That's when he decided it was time to get in the warehouse himself. Following that guy Julian saw a bunch of bodies lying down lifeless. These people deserved to die, but they still were someone's children. They could be someone's father and husband. It was sad. Taking a deep breath to block the faces of the dead men out of his head he continued following the guy, who seemed really pissed off. Stepping in a large room he saw a body sitting on a chair his legs and hands tied up, a hood on his head. Nathan, he thought immediately. But then the guy aimed his gun towards Nathan. Julian thought to tackle him down to save his friend but before he could move the guy pulled the trigger killing the man sitting on the chair. Julian's breath hitched in his throat. He killed Nathan, he thought. The whole plan was for nothing. Julian felt his anger rise inside him. How could someone be so cruel? God, how could he ever look at Haley again, knowing that he could have saved Nathan? Julian felt the tears built up in his eyes. He was ready to attack the guy for being so insensitive. He needed to let his frustration out, so he took a step towards the guy but stopped as soon as the guy took of the hood from Nathan's head. Julian stopped right away, because the man sitting on the chair dead wasn't Nathan, it was the drug dealer. God job Dan, Julian thought.<br>Following the guy further into the warehouse he could here Dan's voice. Shit, he thought.

Before he could do anything to warn his friends Julian heard a gunshot. He was about to run towards the room the guy had entered a few moments ago, but heard some steps behind him so he hid behind an old counter. He heard Nathan's voice and another voice he didn't recognize, but guessed belonged to the guy he had been following. Julian couldn't make out what they were saying. Then he saw someone walking towards the room and guessed it was the one he had heard moments ago walking towards him. It was a cop. A cop? So Dan was right, the cops were involved into this whole mess. Julian stood slowly up and followed the cop, when he heard another gunshot. Closing his eyes he hopped that it wasn't Dan or Nathan who were shot. He heard someone say "Bravo" sarcastically. "What the hell, dude? This was supposed to be easy. You grab some dork, kill him, get paid, maybe seduce his wife at some point. I mean, come on! Do I have to do everything myself?" Before the cop could say one more word, Julian hit his head with the tool he had used to cut the lock. That's when he realized that he had gone in a building were gunshots were heard every few seconds without a gun. That was a really stupid move. Taking a deep breath, trying to relax from all the tension the suspense had brought to his body, he looked towards Nathan. "Hey" he said smiling, knowing that he had saved Nathan. Nathan didn't say anything. He stared back at Julian kind of lost. As Nathan kneed down, Julian realized that Dan was lying on the floor, his eyes closed. Was it really the end for Dan Scott? 

* * *

><p>After getting over the shock of what she had just witnessed, Tara called 911. After just a few minutes two police cars and two ambulances arrived at the café. The paramedics took Xavier to the hospital to make sure he was ok. They also insisted to take Brooke to the hospital to but she insisted that she was ok. She knew she wasn't and that she'd regret it in the morning, but she really just wanted to go finally home. She was sitting on one of the police cars wrapped up in a white sheet the paramedics had given her, while waiting for the officers to finish with her statement. Tara walked towards her a cup of coffee in her hands. "Thank you for helping me." Brooke said appreciatively to the blonde that stood next to her. She really was thankful that Tara helped her, because otherwise she wouldn't be talking right now. "Yeah, no big deal. I always wanted to tase someone anyway, so…" Tara joked. But Brooke didn't find it funny. She was still shocked by everything that happened tonight to joke about it. Rolling her eyes at Tara, Brooke thought that a 'you're welcome' would be enough. "I should've listened to you. Sorry." The blonde apologized, feeling guilty about the whole thing with Xavier. Maybe Tara wasn't that bad after all. Taking a sip from the coffee Tara gave to her, Brooke's eyes widened slightly "Your coffee's horrible." she told the blonde. "Well, it's better than that vomit you serve." Tara fired back. Brooke stared at her savior in disbelief. Well maybe she was a bitch after all. "I gotta sell the café. It makes me such a bitch." The blonde sighed. "Yeah." a bruised Brooke agreed with her. Brooke turned her head away from Tara staring at nothing particularly. Even if she made it out of that garage alive, something inside her died. Right now she felt empty. <p>

* * *

><p>Julian ran towards Nathan and Dan. "Come one Dad, don't die. Come one, stay with me." Nathan begged his father. Julian felt bad for Nathan and Dan, but there was nothing he could do to help them right now. Kneeing down beside them, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He knew that he had to call Haley. He had to let her know that her husband was alright. Dialing her number, he waited for her to pick up. He could imagine Haley's face turning from exhausted and sad into happy and hopeful. He knew that the feeling of having lost the love of your life forever was unbearable. So even though Haley was putting on a brave face all those days, he knew that her heart was breaking. A smile formed on Julian's lips knowing that he would make Haley the happiest woman alive in a few seconds. Right now he felt good.<p> 


End file.
